I Am Not Everything I Want to Be

A unique documentary portrait of world-renowned photographer Libuse Jarcovjakova, often called the ‘Nan Goldin of Czechoslovakia’, consisting solely of her photographs and diary entries, narrated by the photographer herself.

Open-minded Libuse Jarcovjakova was born in a grey, communist country where life was full of restrictions. Yet, within this space, she managed to find her own small islands of freedom and capture them in her work. Her photos from the 1970s and 1980s take us into semi-illegal gay clubs, among factory workers, and into Vietnamese and Cuban migrant communities. Klara Tasovska’s documentary tells the story of an exceptional life, offering a striking portrait of an endless search for freedom.

Enjoy a cocktail after the screening on Thursday 28 November at 19:20h.

JESTE NEJSEM, KYM CHCI BYT | Klára Tasovská | 2024 | Czech Republic, Slovakia, Austria

FESTIVALS & AWARDS (SELECTION) 

Berlin International Film Festival, 2024 – World Premiere (Panorama) | CPH:DOX | DOK.fest Munchen | Karlovy Vary International Film Festival – Special Screenings | Las Palmas de Gran Canaria IFF – CIMA Award | Iceland Documentary Film Festival – Youth Jury Award

DIRECTOR’S BIO 

Klára Tasovská graduated from the New Media Department at the Academy of Fine Arts and the Documentary Film Department at FAMU in Prague. Her mid-length documentary essay Midnight (2010) was screened at several international film festivals (Ji.hlava IDFF – Special Jury Mention, Visions du Reél Nyon, EMAF Osnabrück – Newcomer Award, etc.). Her debut feature film Fortress (2012) with Lukáš Kokeš, was awarded Best Czech Documentary at Ji.hlava IDFF 2012, and was nominated for the LUX Prize. Her last film Nothing Like Before (2017), co-directed by Lukáš Kokeš, premiered in competition at IDFA in 2017.

DIRECTOR’S STATEMENT

There is still a question today of how to be a woman and an artist or creator, to succeed in a world that is still male-dominated, to have a family and believe in acknowledgement that may never come, to be authentic in both work and life, and to discover who you really want to be in life. In the character of Libuše Jarcovjáková, I found a great protagonist who embodies all these questions. Although her story takes place from 1968 to the present, it is timeless and still highly relevant. Her search for islands of personal freedom, her decision not to have children, her sexuality and coming out, her escape to Berlin and unknown Tokyo…these story elements form the foundation for articulating themes that can inspire everyone.